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The Secret is Out

Today as I sat at the desk that is in my kitchen functioning as a dual desk/dinning table, munching on a sandwich and going through mail… I had this heavy sense of arrival wash over me. The thought came to me, seemingly from somewhere else: “Well, here you are. Welcome to adulthood. What do you think?”

Hmph.

I’m glad I took a managerial position at my current job two years ago, because now I feel like I have this sense of management of time and resources that I’m not entirely sure I would quite have otherwise. I’m sure I still would have developed these skills out of pure necessity, as every responsible adult must, but I often feel there are parallels between the management of my personal business and time and how I approach those things at work.

I remember years ago spending some time thinking about personal relationships in terms of a business as well. You invest. Sometimes things are up, sometimes they’re down, but if you stay invested in something good, the general trend over a long period of time is positive. And that’s just on example of how you can look t relationships like a business.

You’d think I was a business major in college. Nope… just an anthropoloogist, with a strong sense of logical thinking.

I’m taking a class in Public Administration right now that I am enjoying very much. If you don’t know what public administration is… think of business administration, which is dealing with the private sector… but public administration deals with the public sector. Government.

It’s interesting I end up here right now, taking this class and considering if I want to persue avenues in this field as a career. Because the same class during my senior year of high school that brought me to anthropology also included a government aspect. My most favorite class I ever took in high school was Government and Sociology, during my senior year. The first semester was Government, the second semester was Sociology. And I LOVED every minute I spent in that class. Through an interest in sociology I discovered anthropology, which is what I’ve gone on to earn my bachelor’s degree in: the holistic study of humans, past and present. But I loved the government portion too. It was so interesting to me… The complexity of it, the interwoven connections, and how the interplay between parts is almost like a game at times. Government was fascinating to me. I’m a HUGE systems person, so it makes sense.

But I’m not interested in politics necessarily. I now realize that the aspect I was drawn to was the administration aspect. Public Administration. This can include the public or non-profit sectors.

Anyway…. I got away from talking about adulting.

I felt a little out of place on campus today. So many young faces and bodies. I’m still quite young myself, but I notice early signs of slow againg. Lines under my eyes becoming more pronounced. My thinking becoming more… broad and rational, and yet also compassionate. As a teenager, I was very lacking in compassion. Extremely emotionally cold, uncarring often… The compassionate part of my self has definitely developed a lot more as I’ve gotten older, particularly since I was 24 or so. And it just keeps growing. I now understand that as part of normal brain development. It’s not that it was never there… it’s not that I would have murdered anyone in cold blood as a teenager. But the level of accessability I have to those compassionate feelings that have always been there is much, much higher.

One thing nobody tells you about being independent is how much time you’ll spend double checking personal business to be sure you’re getting the best deals and not being taken advantage of. The sheer amount of time that goes into shopping around for services and goods, and following up on making sure the services you settle on are properly handled and delivered… Is a part time job in itself. As a kid I looked at this stuff and thought it looked fun. But now it’s just a chore, and I hate it. Which is why I had that thought, “welcome, you have arrived…”

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