Another conundrum with my mother.
Since I started back at college, she’s been more nice and accommodating towards me. She said she wouldn’t charge me rent to live here as long as I’m in school and said she would help me with buying groceries. As a vegan, I eat slightly different than the rest of my family. I told her I don’t need her to do this, but she said that she wishes she could help me pay for school and she can’t so it’s the least she can do for me. Fine.
So I made a little list of the simple things I tend to buy at the grocery store for eating at different times of the day. It’s kind of like a catch-all “grocery list” of things that, if I were going to run to the store to pick up stuff I need, for no special recipe, I would look to see if we have. Essentials for me, essentially. For each meal: breakfast, lunch, dinner. It’s a really basic list. Sandwich fixings. Oatmeal. Rice. Quinoa. Vegetables.
My mom is terrible at grocery shopping. She always has been. She’ll buy bread but no sandwich stuff. She’ll buy everything for sandwiches but no bread. She’ll buy cereal but no milk. She’ll buy jelly but no peanut butter. Pasta but no sauce. It’s honestly enough to drive a person crazy if you deal with it day-in and day-out for years. It’s one of the reasons I took to grocery shopping on my own as soon as I had money and transportation of my own. It was a necessity.
Also, my mom’s a terrible procrastinator. She’ll not go shopping until we literally have NOTHING LEFT TO EAT IN THE HOUSE and all the food in the fridge is rotten. Then she’ll wait like three days and then go on a very unfruitful shopping trip.
But let’s just say she does a decent job on some particular trip. She’ll spend like two hundred dollars at the grocery store… and we still have nothing to eat. Growing up, my sisters and I were baffled at this. I remember my mom and older sister getting into screaming matches. “Mom! There’s nothing to eat!”
“Of course there is! I just went shopping! I spent three hundred dollars at the store, how can there be nothing to eat?!”
“I DON’T KNOW BUT THERE’S NOTHING TO EAT!”
Meanwhile, I’m crying because I’m so hungry and aggravated at not having any food, but having food at the same time… Yeah, this situation has literally brought me to tears a couple times, and nearly to tears countless times.
But again, let’s say she does a decent job. I’m a simple shopping. I’ll buy rolled oats from the bulk bin. Rice. Simple veggies for three days worth of dinners that I have loosely sketched out in my head. “Zucchini and quinoa one night… pasta with veggies another night… mushroom burgers and asparagus another night…” It’s simple, honestly. I don’t buy processed foods. I don’t buy fancy packaging.
So my mom decides to get me some stuff for breakfast. She gets vegan waffles and some frozen blocks of quinoa-oatmeal stuff you’re supposed to heat up in a pan (wtf? it’s not even easier than just cooking regular oatmeal…). I have been telling her literally since I was in middle school that I don’t eat waffles, yet she still buys waffles!
I don’t want to sound ungrateful. But as you can see, this is kind of an issue. I mean… it’s food. It’s life. I’m loosing weight by leaps and bounds over here. I was loosing little-by-little anyway because I became vegan but now that I’ve got my mom (sort of) doing my grocery shopping for me, I’m losing even more food ’cause I never eat.
I’m a simple person. Really. I’ll happily eat a sandwich every fucking day for lunch. But my mom, instead of buying lettuce, will buy FOUR FUCKING BAGS OF PARSLEY! What does she do with all the parsley?!
I cook a lot for my boyfriend, too. He’s losing a lot of weight too, which he’s not fan of. I haven’t said anything, but I’m not terribly crazy about it either. I want my man to be well fed and husky and big and strong. He’s still strong, but he doesn’t look as bulky and … well, well-fed as he used to. Because he’s not! And I’m not!
And what do I do to fix this? My mom is so sensitive and tends to be a martyr so I can already hear her saying how she’s trying so hard to help and I’m being unappreciative and how’s she supposed to know (I made her a list), and fine, maybe I should just do it myself and it’s become too much trouble and yada yada yada. But no. It’s none of that. It’s simple!
😦 I’m hungry.