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Less Money, More Problems

I finally finished my student loan counselling online and am once again desperate to get a new car as soon as possible. My car is on the road again thanks to my wonderful boyfriend, but I honestly do not see how the hell that thing is going to get me through the winter. I’m afraid just to drive it in the rain – I took my boyfriend’s car on my 30 mile journey to school yesterday while he borrowed mine for the day since he was off work. The reason for the switch being that it was raining out. Not only is there an oil leak I’ve had for years (normal with old cars, but this one is BAD) but I’ve got leaky coolant and now brake lines too. Not to mention I can’t use my heat, the windows get terribly foggy and never want to clear up for some reason, etc. It’s just no safe in the winter unless you’re going a very short distance with few impediments, and it’s DEFINITELY not safe to drive long distances on highways in winter weather. If I “winterize” my car I only see that as eating up money better spent on a new car. My boyfriend’s new job is 10 minutes from his house and he offered to let me drive his car to school during the winter. We’ll see how that offer holds up. I like to be independent, and he likes me to be independent, so sometimes it’s a bit of conundrum. But I think when it clearly comes down to a safety issue we’re on the same page.

All of that said, I’m focusing a lot more on my finances again. I am working hard to keep my two thousand dollar savings account above 2k. I don’t want it to drop below that because I know once it gets below that it’s a fast downhill fall to $0. Maybe it was stupid, but with no other resources available I went ahead and took a close look at necessary school expenses, considered the fact that I’m working while in college so that money should be used to pay for school expenses and I should save vigorously with next semester’s expenses in mind, etc. And I went ahead and took out an extra 1k dollars from the loans offered to me to help pay for a “new” used car. My school is a half hour away and my car is falling apart around me. My education and the money I’m putting into it is worth nothing if I can’t get to classes. Hence my reasoning for the extra money. I hope it works out. I know it comes in installments so it’s not like I’m going to get it all really soon… but my thinking is with the money in my savings currently and half the loan money coming my way, I can find a decent used Toyota or something that would be better and safer than my 1988 BMW. When I get the rest of the money from the loan, that’ll go to reimbursing my savings which I used to pay for the car. I need that savings.

So yeah, that and some stupid financial shit that I have to deal with, I’m a little stressed in that department. But I know it will work out. It has to. And I plan on saving vigorously. No extra gas spent going places I don’t need to go. Nothing like that. I will life more frugally now so that when I get older I don’t have to live like I’ve seen my mom live all my life: stressed about money and scraping to get by. Yeah, if I wanted I could spend more and life paycheck to paycheck and enjoy the fruits of my hardwork while I’m alive. But that’s often been my thinking and now I’m stuck racing the coming winter weather against getting a new car with little resources, and… well, I’m stuck. If I had saved more before, I wouldn’t be stuck. So I’ll get myself out of this jam this time, and do everything I can to prevent it in the future.

That’s that. Just lessons learned.

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